When I first picked up Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life and later his follow-up Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, I was skeptical. Like many, I had heard the hype surrounding these books and the controversies that followed their release. But once I started reading, I found something much deeper—practical wisdom that resonated with my personal experiences and struggles. These books aren’t just intellectual exercises; they’re tools for transformation.
Integrating Peterson’s rules into my daily life hasn’t been a walk in the park, but I’ve learned a lot, and it’s shifted my mindset in ways I didn’t anticipate.
Here’s a closer look at how I’ve applied his rules—and how they’ve genuinely helped me improve my life.
Rule 1: “Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back”
I’ll admit, I didn’t think much about posture before reading this rule. Like most people, I slouched through my day without giving it a second thought. But Peterson’s explanation about the link between posture, power dynamics, and confidence hit me hard. Standing up straight doesn’t just make you look more confident—it actually helps you feel more confident. I noticed this shift when I made a conscious effort to improve my posture during meetings or social interactions. The simple act of standing tall seemed to change my internal dialogue. Suddenly, I wasn’t just going through the motions; I was engaging with the world around me in a more empowered way.
Rule 2: “Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping”
This rule felt like a punch to the gut at first. I realized that I treated my friends, family, and even strangers with more care than I treated myself. For years, I was stuck in a cycle of neglecting my own health, mental well-being, and needs. I would push myself to the brink, thinking that I had to constantly hustle or sacrifice my well-being for the sake of others. Peterson’s rule changed that. I started treating myself with the same compassion I offer others—whether it was taking time to rest, eating healthier, or simply being kinder to myself when I made mistakes. It wasn’t easy, but I began to notice a shift in my overall mental health. The more I treated myself with care, the more I had to offer those around me.
Rule 3: “Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You”
This rule was a game-changer. I’d always been the type of person to keep toxic relationships in my life, thinking that I had to maintain friendships or appease others. But as I reflected on my friendships, I realized that I was spending a lot of time with people who weren’t supporting my growth. They were either dragging me down, or I was enabling unhealthy behavior. I started to make more conscious choices about who I spent time with. I sought out friends who encouraged my ambitions, challenged me to grow, and made me feel like I could be my best self. My social circle became smaller, but the relationships I cultivated were far more meaningful and enriching.
Rule 4: “Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not to Who Someone Else Is Today”
This rule hit me hard, especially as a blogger and someone constantly exposed to social media. I found myself endlessly comparing my work, my life, and my progress to others, which led to frustration and self-doubt. I would see people who seemed more successful, more creative, or just “better” at life. But when I stopped to evaluate my progress, I realized that I had grown significantly over time. I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet, but I was certainly a better version of myself than I had been the day before. Since then, I’ve made it a point to focus on my own progress, rather than comparing my journey to someone else’s highlight reel.
Rule 5: “Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them”
As someone who doesn’t have children, this rule didn’t initially resonate with me. But as I reflected on it, I realized it wasn’t just about parenting—it was about setting boundaries in any relationship. Whether it’s with a partner, family member, or even yourself, boundaries are crucial for fostering mutual respect. This rule encouraged me to set clearer boundaries with the people around me, and in turn, I found that my relationships became healthier and more fulfilling. It’s about respect, not just tolerance.
Rule 6: “Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World”
I have a confession: I used to be a professional complainer. If something in the world bothered me, I’d immediately vent on social media or in conversations with friends. But Peterson’s rule forced me to take a step back. I realized that if I wanted to see real change in the world, I needed to start by cleaning up my own act. Whether it was organizing my living space, taking care of my finances, or dealing with unresolved personal issues, I started addressing the things I could control. Only after I got my own house in order did I feel like I had the clarity and integrity to criticize or engage with the bigger issues of the world.
Rule 7: “Pursue What Is Meaningful (Not What Is Expedient)”
This rule was a tough pill to swallow. As a content creator, I often face the temptation to take shortcuts—whether it’s writing clickbait articles or chasing viral trends. But I realized that while these may bring immediate gratification, they didn’t align with my deeper values or long-term goals. Since integrating this rule into my life, I’ve focused on creating content that I’m truly passionate about, even if it’s more difficult or slower to build momentum. It’s not always easy, but it’s far more rewarding to pursue what matters to me.
Rule 8: “Tell the Truth—or, at Least, Don’t Lie”
Honesty has always been important to me, but Peterson’s emphasis on truth-telling as a cornerstone of integrity pushed me to examine how I communicate. The more I committed to being truthful, the more I felt empowered. It didn’t mean I had to be brutal or cruel, but being honest, even in difficult situations, felt freeing. It brought clarity, fostered trust, and allowed me to truly align my actions with my values.
Rule 9: “Assume that the Person You Are Listening to Might Know Something You Don’t”
I used to approach conversations with a sense of certainty, thinking that I had all the answers. But Peterson’s rule reminded me of the importance of active listening. Everyone has unique experiences and perspectives, and I’ve learned that I can’t know everything. Now, I go into conversations with curiosity, asking questions and truly listening to others, and the result is that I’m learning more than ever before. I’ve discovered new ideas, shifted my own viewpoints, and built stronger relationships through this practice of humility.
Rule 10: “Be Precise in Your Speech”
In my personal and professional life, I often found myself skimming over important details or being vague in my communication. But when I started applying this rule, I noticed a huge difference. Being clear and precise in my speech helped me express my thoughts more effectively and avoided misunderstandings. It made me more deliberate about my words, which ultimately led to better interactions, whether in business emails or casual conversations.
Rule 11: “Do Not Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding”
While this rule primarily speaks to parenting, it’s about more than just letting children take risks. It aims to remind us that growth often requires stepping outside of our comfort zones. For me, it’s been a reminder to take risks in my own life—whether it’s pushing the boundaries of my creativity, trying new things, or confronting fears that have held me back. Progress rarely happens without discomfort, and this rule reinforced the idea that I need to embrace challenges rather than shy away from them.
Rule 12: “Pet a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street”
This rule is all about finding moments of peace amidst the chaos. Life can be overwhelming, and there are times when the weight of the world seems unbearable. Peterson’s simple reminder to take a moment of respite, to find joy in small things, has helped me stay grounded. Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee, going for a walk, or taking a deep breath in the middle of a stressful situation, I’ve learned that these moments of tranquility are essential for maintaining balance and perspective.
Peterson’s 12 More Rules for Life:
In his follow-up book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, Peterson expands on his previous work, offering more insights into how to navigate the complexities and uncertainties of life in an increasingly chaotic world.
Rule 13: “Do Not Carelessly Denigrate Social Institutions or Creative Achievement”
At first glance, this rule may seem like a call to preserve traditional structures in society. But what Peterson really emphasizes is that tearing down what’s built can be reckless without considering what’s at stake. He encourages us to acknowledge the value of social institutions like family, education, and religion, even when we critique them. This rule helped me recognize how easy it is to fall into the trap of negativity, particularly when frustrated with the world.
Instead of dismissing institutions or innovations out of hand, I’ve learned to appreciate their foundational role. Now, when I criticize something—whether it’s an institution or a creative work—I aim to be constructive, acknowledging its importance and seeking ways to improve it rather than just tearing it down.
Rule 14: “Imagine Who You Could Be and Then Aim Single-Mindedly at That”
This rule has had a profound impact on how I approach my goals. For years, I wandered through life with a vague idea of what I wanted to achieve. There were many things I was interested in, but no clear focus. Peterson’s rule reminded me to define a specific vision for myself and to pursue it relentlessly. I started making more intentional decisions, choosing projects and opportunities that aligned with my long-term aspirations, instead of getting distracted by short-term gains. The discipline to focus on one meaningful goal at a time has given me clarity, motivation, and a sense of purpose.
Rule 15: “Do Not Hide Unwanted Things in the Fog”
One of the most uncomfortable aspects of Peterson’s philosophy is the idea of confronting your inner demons head-on. This rule calls out the tendency to bury uncomfortable truths, emotions, or experiences. I used to sweep unresolved issues—whether personal fears, frustrations, or regrets—under the rug, pretending they weren’t there. But as Peterson suggests, those things don’t disappear; they just accumulate and manifest in more destructive ways.
Over time, I’ve started to face these issues directly, whether it’s through journaling, therapy, or simply having difficult conversations. It’s uncomfortable, but doing so has lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders and allowed me to move forward with more peace of mind.
Rule 16: “Notice That Opportunity Lurks Where Responsibility Has Been Abdicated”
Peterson’s idea here is simple but powerful: where there’s a lack of responsibility, there’s often an opportunity for growth. When people avoid responsibility, they leave a void, and someone willing to step up can make a significant difference. I’ve applied this rule to both my personal and professional life. I’ve sought out opportunities where others have dropped the ball. I didn’t do it out of a desire to take over, but because I realized that stepping into these gaps gave me a chance to develop leadership skills and contribute meaningfully. It’s also been incredibly rewarding to know that I’m not only improving my own life but also making a positive impact.
Rule 17: “Do Not Do What You Hate”
This rule is about integrity. Peterson argues that engaging in activities or behaviors that you despise will ultimately poison your spirit. I had to ask myself: What tasks, habits, or people was I dealing with that went against my core values? For me, it was a lot of moments where I was participating in work I didn’t believe in just for the sake of money or external approval. Since adopting this rule, I’ve cut back on projects that weren’t aligned with my beliefs. Instead, I’ve focused on work that excites me and brings me fulfillment. The energy I get from pursuing things I truly care about has been so much more sustainable than when I was just “going through the motions.”
Rule 18: “Abandon Ideology”
This one was tough for me, as I used to lean on ideologies—frameworks that felt like a clear, guiding force in life. I clung to political or societal ideas that seemed to offer certainty. But as Peterson warns, ideologies can be dangerous because they oversimplify complex issues and prevent genuine understanding. I began to recognize the limits of rigid thinking.
Now, I try to approach every topic with openness, seeking truth rather than comfort in predefined beliefs. It’s about developing critical thinking, acknowledging complexity, and being okay with uncertainty. This has made me more flexible, less judgmental, and ultimately more understanding of different viewpoints.
Rule 19: “Work as Hard as You Possibly Can on At Least One Thing and See What Happens”
Focusing on one thing—just one thing—might sound simple, but it’s a rule I continually come back to. We’re all bombarded with countless distractions, and it’s easy to spread yourself thin. Peterson’s rule encouraged me to choose something that truly matters to me and pour my energy into it fully. I began to work harder on my writing, setting aside time each day to develop my skills and craft. The results have been remarkable. Not only have I become better at what I do, but I’ve gained more satisfaction in the process. The dedication to improving in one area has brought structure to my days and a sense of pride in my work.
Rule 20: “Try to Make One Room in Your Home as Beautiful as Possible”
This rule was about creating a sanctuary. I’ve always known that my environment affects my mood, but I hadn’t fully embraced the idea of cultivating beauty in my living space. I decided to transform one room in my house into a place I could retreat to—a space that felt calming, inspiring, and uniquely mine. Whether it’s the furniture, the colors, or the small personal touches, this room has become my space for reflection, rest, and creativity. It has made a huge difference in my daily life. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, I step into that room and instantly feel more grounded.
Rule 21: “If Old Memories Still Make You Cry, Write Them Down Carefully and Completely”
Old pain doesn’t go away until it’s dealt with. Peterson suggests that writing about painful memories can help bring clarity and healing. For years, I carried unresolved emotional baggage, avoiding it because it was easier to ignore. But I began journaling as a way to confront the past—revisiting painful memories, putting them into words, and examining them from a distance. The process was cathartic. By fully acknowledging those feelings, I started to free myself from their grip.
Writing helped me process trauma and grief, and it created space for me to heal and grow.
Rule 22: “Plan and Work Diligently to Maintain the Romance in Your Relationship”
This rule was a call to actively nurture love and connection in relationships. It’s so easy to take your partner for granted, especially as life gets busy. But Peterson emphasizes that relationships need work to remain vibrant. This made me more intentional about keeping the romance alive in my relationship—not just through grand gestures, but in the little daily acts of love and appreciation. I set aside time for my partner, made sure to communicate openly, and didn’t let the busy pace of life erode our bond. The effort has paid off in a deeper, more meaningful connection.
Rule 23: “Do Not Allow Yourself to Become Resentful, Deceitful, or Arrogant”
Resentment, deceit, and arrogance are toxic emotions that poison relationships and stifle personal growth. I’ve learned to watch for these behaviors in myself and take responsibility for them. When I feel resentment building, I try to address the underlying issue before it grows. If I catch myself being dishonest, I strive to be truthful, even if it’s uncomfortable. The same goes for arrogance—recognizing when I’m dismissing others or assuming superiority has helped me approach life with more humility and respect. This rule has improved my emotional intelligence and strengthened my relationships.
Rule 24: “Be Grateful in Spite of Your Suffering”
Life is difficult, and suffering is inevitable. But Peterson’s final rule reminds us to find gratitude, even in the face of hardship. I’ve found this rule especially meaningful during tough times—when dealing with work stress, personal losses, and the challenges that come with growing as a person. Instead of wallowing in frustration, I’ve learned to find moments of gratitude.
Even when life is hard, focusing on what I’m grateful for has given me strength, perspective, and resilience. It doesn’t mean ignoring suffering—it means acknowledging it while still choosing to find value in life.
Applying these Rules in Real Life
Adopting these rules has reshaped my approach to everyday living. These rules have taught me to approach life with more responsibility, humility, and intentionality. These rules aren’t easy to follow—they challenge you to confront your weaknesses, face discomfort, and embrace personal responsibility. But in doing so, they offer a path to deeper meaning, growth, and self-empowerment. Implementing these rules in my own life hasn’t been flawless, but the progress I’ve made is undeniable. Life feels more purposeful, and I’m more equipped to navigate the challenges that come my way.
If you’re considering reading these books, I encourage you to give them a try. The transformation might not be immediate, but the changes you’ll see over time are worth it.
